With Each Step…

With each step, there was a soft crunch of the gravel as it moved to make space for me. The water greeted me excitedly with small crashes on the shore. I felt the warmth and weight of the sun as it jumped onto my back and held on. The wind brushed my cheeks and hair as it went in for a big hug. Sitting there on a rock at the edge of Skaneateles Lake, I was surrounded by four beautiful friends. I felt safe. 

Safe because I had someone who had moved through the crowd towards me, so that I didn’t have to feel lost and confused. Safe because someone was jumping up and down when they saw me, so that I didn’t have to hide by myself and feel lonely. Safe because someone was holding onto me tightly, so that I didn’t have to reach out asking for help because they just knew. Safe because someones’ hug almost knocked me off my feet so that I didn’t have to hold back and pretend I cared less.

There is a serenity that comes when you become one with nature. A vulnerability in the realization that there is something so much bigger than you, without you being small.

In this safe space, I have had a lot of opportunities for self-reflection, forgiveness, acceptance and growth. One life lesson I’ve learned is the reason why it’s important to be true to myself. 

“Just be yourself.” We all grow up hearing this from those older than us as life goes on. This statement, however, begs the question: how can I be true to myself if I don’t even know myself? 

It is when I’m in the presence of nature that I realize my true self. I am there without the labels and boxes of society. All my opinions, judgments, expectations and identities get set aside and I have the opportunity to be present and exist without pressure. Just as evolution exists in nature, it is because of society we get the opportunity to change, grow and evolve as individuals. The only way to get to know yourself is by leaving your comfort zone and taking a chance, most probably messing up but learning. Every chance you take allows you to get a better understanding of different aspects of yourself: how you define success/ failing, what qualities you value in a friend, how much are you willing to compromise on or not, etc. You take the lessons you learned from your past chances and change what you do in the future and then modify the lessons again. When you are true to yourself, the problems that come up in your life are also true to who you are. This makes it easier to understand, accept, learn and grow. But if you’re not true to yourself, your problems won’t be true to who you are. You won’t understand why you made certain decisions and you’ll likely repeat the same mistakes again. 

But despite the good or bad, one thing I realize over and over again is that: life is just an experience. Every situation, problem and challenge helps us evolve in some way. Life is like the ground beneath our feet, giving us a place to land when we fall and then a place to steady our feet as we stand back up. Life is like water, working in waves and crashes to show us it cares about our growth. Life is like the sun, shining on us when we are doing our best and spreading warmth to us during our hardships. Life is like the air, pushing and encouraging us to take chances. Life is walking out of a good situation and feeling glad you had the chance to feel love, care, compassion, or happiness. Life is resolving a bad situation, learning from the pain and moving forward with those lessons.

There is a great deal we can learn about ourselves when we quiet the surrounding sounds of society. So let’s take a moment: pause, step outside, take a deep breath and appreciate being part of a whole.